yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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