She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I love you.
Bad choice
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
