I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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