remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
