I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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