her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
