worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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