when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Actions speak louder than pants.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
