Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize