That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
