im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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