were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
