i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
