the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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