I wish I only lived at night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
