He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
