How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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