Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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