I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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