I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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