Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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