I CAN MOONWALK!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
