You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
