I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dicks are not precious.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
