I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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