it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
