remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
