Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
