3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
