She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
