love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
