Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
