He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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