I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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