My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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