you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
