Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
