and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
