come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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