Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
