PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Enjoy the penises
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
