There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
