sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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