my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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