the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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