2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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