he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
