My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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