HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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