Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
