We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
