OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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