So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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