She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
