She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
