I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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