She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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