when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
